I don’t want to grow up. That’s never changed; a constant in my life. Physically, I am tall; mentally, I am small.
There are things in life that have forced me, in a way, to grow up quickly. These may have prevented me from actually growing up; I don’t know. Yet, what I do know is that I still want to behave as a younger version of myself. Someone who didn’t know the worries that I face today, and as such, in my own time, I will often revert. Sometimes this is more often than others, but for me, it is always a game of balance and control, as one wrong move could alert everyone to this side of me, and I don’t think I am able to handle that.
To me, this change in my mental age offers me a chance to be free. To actually be able to do the things that I want to do and an opportunity to save myself from the stress I am likely swimming in.
For me, having this escape has kept me alive.
“A lot of people who start work at a very young age never grow up because they never got that opportunity to be a child, so they hold on to that and still do a lot of childish, silly things”-Janet Jackson